Scandalous Desires Read online

  Silence flushed and looked at her brother. His straight brown brows were drawn together in worry.

  She inhaled and smoothed a hand down the apron she’d put on this morning out of habit—only now did she notice that it was a bit crooked. “I’m sorry to have left the home so abruptly. I know it must have distressed you—”

  “Distressed.” Winter said the word flatly.

  Silence bit her lip.

  “Are you being held here against your will?”

  “Oh, no,” she said.

  He nodded. “I’m not a man given to hysteria. If I were, I’d be bald at this moment from having torn out my hair on the way over here. Mickey O’Connor, Silence?”

  His last three words were soft, but there was a wealth of meaning behind them. Winter had seen her after she’d left Mr. O’Connor the last time. He knew what had been done to her.

  And he suspected much worse.

  “He’s Mary Darling’s father,” she said.

  His eyebrows lifted in inquiry.

  “He says that Mary must stay here because she is in danger from his enemies. But he has let me stay as well, to take care of her.”

  Winter closed his eyes briefly and when he opened them again they were filled with sorrow. “If the child is truly his, then you have no hold on her. You must give her up.”

  “No!” She swallowed and lowered her voice. “You don’t understand. Mr. O’Connor has promised to let me have Mary Darling—let me have her forever—once his enemies are no longer a threat. Don’t you see? I can take her away from here.”

  “I think I’d rather trust the word of a snake than Mr. O’Connor.”

  “But—”

  He stepped forward and gently touched her on the elbow. “He’s using you, sister. Perhaps he only sees you as an amusement, perhaps his plan is far worse, but in either case you can be sure of one thing: Mickey O’Connor is interested only in pleasing himself. He cares for neither you nor Mary Darling.”

  “All the more reason for me to stay,” she whispered. “I love Mary, Winter. She’s as much a daughter to me as if I’d given birth to her. I wouldn’t be able to leave her here by herself even if I had no hope of eventually bringing her home. But since I do… Well, then, it’s only a matter of hanging on.”

  “Your reputation will be in tatters if you stay here.”

  “My reputation already is in tatters.”

  “Because of him.” Winter rarely raised his voice, rarely showed emotion of any kind, but he spat the word “him” with deep loathing.

  Silence’s eyes widened. She knew Winter disliked Mr. O’Connor, but she’d had no idea of the antipathy her brother held toward the pirate.

  “Winter—”

  “He’ll destroy you and he’ll destroy the home because of you.” Winter’s words were tight and controlled. “We cannot afford speculation about your virtue right now, sister. Think of the home if you will not think of yourself.”

  She closed her eyes, feeling sick. She was letting him down, betraying his trust, but… “I’m sorry. I’m truly sorry about the home, but it’s Mary Darling, Winter. Please. She’s all that I have left.”

  “Christ.” Her brother turned and walked to a bookshelf, staring blindly at the rows of expensive embossed leather spines.

  For a moment there was quiet in the library.

  Silence bit her lip, watching her brother. Waiting to see if she’d broken his trust irrevocably. Winter was the youngest of her brothers, the one closest to her in age—and closest to her heart.

  If she hadn’t been studying him she might not have seen his shoulders lower a fraction of an inch. “I know what Mary Darling means to you, sister. I’ve witnessed your grief and the renewal of your inner joy this last year. Much of it was due to the baby. If this is the only way to keep Mary Darling, then stay.”

  She sighed, opening her mouth to thank him.

  Winter swung suddenly to look at her and she saw that his normally calm eyes blazed. “But I saw what Mickey O’Connor did to you. I saw the damage in your eyes. I cannot stop you from this mad plan, but do not expect me to dance with joy at the prospect of you in Mickey O’Connor’s foul hands.”

  Behind them a single clap shattered the intimacy of the library.

  Silence swung around.

  Mickey O’Connor lounged in a narrow doorway cleverly hidden in the carved paneling. “I appreciate yer stamp o’ approval, Makepeace. It warms the cockles o’ me heart, it does.”

  Winter had gone very still next to Silence and for some reason she had the feeling he was holding himself in check, keeping himself from violence only by the thinnest of threads. Silly, really. Winter was the least violent man she knew.

  But she placed a restraining hand on his arm anyway. “Please.”

  “I will do as you wish,” Winter said to her, though his gaze never left Mr. O’Connor’s face. “I’m leaving today, but next time I come I’ll take you with me. Until then, if you feel yourself in peril at any time, send word to me and I will come for you—night or day.”

  “Yes, Winter,” she said meekly, realizing that her brother needed to feel that he had some control over the matter.

  Mickey O’Connor’s black eyes slid to hers mockingly.

  Fortunately, Winter didn’t seem to see the look. He bent to kiss Silence on the cheek, murmuring as he straightened, “Remember: any time.”

  She nodded, unable to speak because of the lump that suddenly clogged her throat. She’d known that Winter was fond of her, but his actions today had spoken of real brotherly love: he’d stormed Mickey O’Connor’s palace by himself for her. She’d never realized that he loved her so, and suddenly she felt the paradoxical loss of something she’d not known she’d had before now. He was leaving her here—only because she asked it of him. Only because he truly loved her.

  “Me men will be showin’ ye out, Makepeace,” Mr. O’Connor said, “Jus’ to make sure ye don’t get lost ’tween here and me front door.”

  Winter glanced at the pirate and for a moment Silence held her breath as the men exchanged some kind of unspoken communication.

  Then Winter turned and left the room.

  Silence glared at Mickey O’Connor. “You didn’t need to goad him.”

  “No?” The pirate straightened away from the doorway, ambling closer to her.

  “No.” Silence frowned at him. “We’ve already made our bargain and I have no intention of reneging on it. Winter has only my best interests at heart. By goading him, you could’ve started a rather nasty argument.”

  He shrugged. “But see, me darlin’, that’s where ye and I must disagree. Yer brother is a hard man. Had I not stood upon me principles, he’d’ve had ye out o’ here before ye could blink.”

  Winter a hard man? What a very strange notion. Silence shook her head. Men could be very odd at times. She watched as Mr. O’Connor brushed his fingers idly over a huge volume of colored maps, his many rings flashing.

  “I never would’ve guessed you had a room such as this,” she said.

  His black eyebrows winged up his forehead in cynical amusement. “Yer sayin’ these things are too refined for a crude pirate?”

  “No,” she exclaimed, although of course that had been what she meant. “I… I just thought…”

  Her voice faded as she watched him trail a long finger over the tip of Diana’s nude breast.

  He turned and caught her staring. “Aye, Mrs. Hollingbrook?”

  Her face was aflame, but she met his gaze. Winter hadn’t backed down from this man and neither would she. “There’s no need for a room such as this.”

  “No need?”

  She struggled to put her thoughts into words. “Your throne room is outrageously ostentatious, but you let others see it. It’s almost a public place because you receive visitors there. The ostentation has a purpose. You intimidate with it. But this library…”

  “Aye?”

  “There’s no need for it because you don’t use it to impress others.” />
  His head was cocked as he stared at her curiously. “What a very interestin’ women ye are, Mrs. Hollingbrook. If I don’t use me library to impress, then what do I use it for, if ye don’t mind me askin’?”

  “That’s just what I wondered,” she said. “Why have this library?”

  The stark question seemed to catch him by surprise. He watched her a moment, hesitating, then seemed to come to a decision. He crossed to where another big book lay. Silence followed curiously, looking over his elbow as he opened the book.

  An emerald beetle was revealed, perched on the stem of some exotic plant. The color was so startling, so vivid, the insect looked ready to crawl off the page.

  Mickey O’Connor traced the edges of the page lightly. “One night maybe eight years or so ago, I found a book like this one in a chest taken off a ship comin’ from the West Indies.”

  “You mean you stole it,” Silence said severely.

  Mickey grinned at her, flashing strong white teeth. “Belonged to one o’ them plantation owners over there, I hear. Man who owned hundreds o’ slaves laborin’ to grow his sugar and make him his fortune. Aye, I stole from one such as he, and not a night’s sleep have I ever lost over it.”

  Silence looked back down at the illustrated book. She certainly didn’t approve of thieving, but then again she didn’t approve of the trade of human beings, either. “You said you, uh, found a book like this one eight years ago.”

  “Aye,” he said, returning his own gaze to the emerald beetle. “Found it, and opened it, and was amazed. I’d never seen such, ye understand. It was filled with pictures o’ butterflies. Butterflies aren’t exactly plentiful in the parts o’ London I grew up in, and butterflies such as these”—his elegant fingers caressed the page as if remembering—“well, it almost makes a man believe in God, it does.”

  Silence swallowed. She’d been raised in London as well, but there had been trips to parks and outings to Greenwich and other towns. She’d seen butterflies and more—tame deer, wild birds, lovely gardens, and flowers. What kind of boyhood had he had never to have seen a butterfly?

  “Where were you raised in London?” she asked softly.

  “St. Giles,” he said, still tracing the gilt pages. “Not more’n a stone’s throw from here.”

  She tried to picture him as a boy. He’d have been beautiful, of course, lean and graceful. The thought made her uneasy. Beautiful youths didn’t last long in St. Giles. “You lived with your family?”

  “Me mam… and him.”

  She frowned at the emphasis on the last word. Was he talking about his father—or another man? She glanced at him, but ended up asking the easier question. “Do your parents still live in St. Giles?”

  He gave her an ironic look and closed the big picture book. Obviously he had no intention of answering her.

  Irritating man. She looked around the little library. “Which book is it?”

  “What?”

  She gestured to the overflowing bookshelves. “Where is your butterfly book?”

  He shook his head. “I don’t keep it here.”

  “But then—”

  “What a curious thing ye are.” He turned to place the book on a shelf.

  She inhaled, feeling frustrated. “What is it you want from me?”

  When he turned, his face had gone blank. “What makes ye think I want anythin’ from ye, me darlin’?”

  But she wasn’t going to let him slide away from this question. She took a step closer and he made a movement almost as if he would retreat from her. “You didn’t have to give Mary Darling to me. Didn’t have to involve me in your life at all. What is it you’re doing?”

  He glanced away from her, a muscle clenching in his jaw. “I’m protectin’ ye and the babe, nothin’ more. All ye have to do is stay in yer rooms and be content.”

  Stay in her rooms? Be content? Silence’s eyes widened incredulously. “Do I look like a doll to you?”

  His eyelids lowered, his beautiful black lashes sweeping his cheeks before he glanced back up at her again. “Nay, yer a lovely woman, ye are. I’d not be mistakin’ ye for any playthin’.”

  Her lips parted at his intimate tone.

  His sensuous mouth curved at her confusion. “Supper’s early tonight—seven o’ the clock, mind. I trust we’ll be graced with yer lovely presence.”

  Silence stiffened. He wouldn’t catch her off guard so easily. “On the contrary, I have no intention of dining with you, Mr. O’Connor.”

  The smile was abruptly gone from his face, leaving it rather frighteningly grim. “Then ye’ll fast in yer rooms, me darlin’, until ye can see fit to change yer mind.”

  And with that he pivoted and strode from the room.

  Chapter Four

  But a very strange thing happened. As dusk fell in the king’s garden, all three of the nephews began to nod and soon they all slept. In the morning they woke and none of the three could remember a thing. The nephews had to confess rather sheepishly to the king that they had not caught the thief. But when Clever John ran his hand through his hair, a bright green feather fell to the ground….

  —from Clever John

  “But ye can’t!” Fionnula hissed early the next morning.

  “Who says so?” Silence asked stubbornly as she took a quick look up and down the hall outside her room. Harry was eating breakfast and she’d just sent Bert to call a servant. She only had a minute at most while the guards were occupied.

  “Himself, that’s who,” Fionnula cried in a muted wail. “He’s given orders that yer not to leave the rooms until ye consent to dine with him.”

  Silence snorted softly. “Mickey O’Connor is not my master.”

  “He mayn’t be,” Fionnula said, “but he’s used to bein’ obeyed.”

  “Then Mr. O’Connor is in for a surprise.”

  Silence slipped from the room with Mary Darling in her arms and ran lightly toward the back of the hallway—away from the stairs where Bert had gone. She stopped at the corner to catch her breath before continuing more sedately.

  A touch at her shoulder nearly made her scream.

  “Where are ye plannin’ on goin’?” Fionnula whispered.

  “I don’t know,” Silence admitted, “but Mary needs new surroundings to explore. Perhaps a sitting room?”

  Fionnula looked doubtful. “I don’t think Himself spends much time sittin’. He’s not exactly gentry.”

  “The library, then. That’s below us.” Silence looked worriedly at Fionnula. “But I don’t want to get you into trouble. Perhaps I ought to tie you up? We can say I’ve overpowered you.”

  Fionnula rolled her eyes. “As if anyone would believe that.”

  Behind them came a noise like an enraged bull. “Oi!” Bert had discovered her absence.

  Silence couldn’t restrain a start, but at least she didn’t break stride.

  Mary bounced in her arms, looking over Silence’s shoulder. “ ’Ert!”

  They reached the stairwell just as Bert caught up with them.

  “Now see ’ere,” the guard panted. “Where d’ye think yer goin’?”

  “To the library,” Silence said airily as she started down the stairs.

  Bert scoffed. “Right next to ’Imself’s plannin’ room, that is. Ye’ll not get two steps past the stairwell.”

  The news made Silence’s pulse race. She was already at the landing, but she didn’t stop, sailing through the doorway and into the lower corridor. Charming Mickey O’Connor might discover her disobedience—she was counting on it, in fact—but that wouldn’t detain her. It was important that she assert her rights, her will to not be treated like some pawn at the beck and call to Mickey O’Connor’s whims. In fact—

  Hard hands caught her waist and Silence couldn’t help a squeak of surprise and alarm. She was lifted quite off her feet with Mary Darling still clutched to her breast.

  “What is Mrs. Hollingbrook doin’ out o’ her rooms?” Mickey O’Connor’s voice rumbled behind her, far too
calmly.

  Silence craned her neck and saw that the pirate held her at arm’s length, his face quite expressionless. She gulped and faced forward again, only to see Fionnula frozen while Bert opened and closed his mouth like a landed fish.

  “Don’t blame Bert or Fionnula,” Silence blurted out. “This is my fault—”

  “I never thought otherwise,” Mr. O’Connor snapped. “Take the babe.”

  Fionnula darted forward, eyes wide and before Silence could protest Mary was in the maidservant’s arms.

  Silence frowned. “Now see here—”

  “Not a word,” the pirate whispered, and somehow his lowered voice was even more frightening than a shout.

  He swung her and suddenly Silence found herself on her stomach over Mickey O’Connor’s shoulder—a most ignominious position—one broad hand clamped firmly over her bottom to hold her in place.

  “Put me down,” she said with as much dignity as possible, considering that all the blood was rushing to her head.

  He didn’t bother to reply. Instead, he simply turned and strode down the hall.

  “Mr. O’Connor!” Silence found she had no choice but to brace her hands on his hips if she didn’t want her nose to bounce off his extremely firm rear end.

  He didn’t reply as he mounted the stairs—seemingly without effort despite steadying her weight with only one arm—but Silence thought she might have heard him muttering to himself under his breath.

  Or possibly cursing.

  She gulped. She’d defied him outright this time—and humiliated him in front of his man and Fionnula to boot. There was a very real possibility that his ire might take a physical form. But she’d made up her mind not to bend to his will and she’d stick to her guns—no matter the cost.

  So it was with a feeling of both defiance and trepidation that Silence found herself tossed on the bed minutes later. She bounced on the soft mattress, struggling to push her hair out of her hot face. She must present a firm but calm countenance to the pirate.

  Still she couldn’t help gulping when at last she looked up.

  Mickey O’Connor loomed over her, arms crossed, feet braced wide apart. “What in the name o’ all that’s holy did ye think ye were doin’?”